I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
