Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
