the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
