Cold hands, warm shart.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
