I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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