Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
