clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
