remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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