he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
