that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
