OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
