why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
