i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
