Do you still have your period?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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