No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
