I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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