Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
