i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
