I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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