So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Please, let me fuck your mom
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
