She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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