guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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