Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
