How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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