Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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