one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
