...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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