I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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