FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
