I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
