Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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