omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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