Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
