Nicole vs. Life
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
