So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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