Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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