I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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