I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
