So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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