So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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