chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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