Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
