i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
