I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
