HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
