Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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