Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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