Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
