i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
