It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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